If things get real for me down here...

...promise to take me back to who you were before you went away.

Remember when we were planning for the future? 

You told me what you wanted to be, and I told you how I didn't care where we were, as long as we were together. 

You said I was the only person who ever made you feel that way, and I said I would love you forever.

You begged for me to never forget you, and I begged for you to never leave me. 

You sent me our song, and I listened to it on repeat for hours.

Our story was straight out of a love song.

Remember when I sat up for two hours crying because you left? 

Remember when you had her tell me about you, and how you two were already together?

Remember how you left a scar on my heart?

Remember how I said I couldn't go a day without thinking of you?

Remember how I didn't even have any pain moving on from you because I had someone else waiting for me?

Oh no, that last one was you. Did you ever stay up all night crying, wondering what happened? Did you ever race to change the song when our song came on? Did you ever wonder how your words hurt me? Did you ever realize what effect you had on me, or how dependent I was on you?

Did any of this ever even occur to you? You left me tainted. No one has liked me since you. What did you do to me? 

An actual buried letter.

"I gotta write this quick before I forget this feeling. I don't know if you remember but a couple months ago, you sent me 'One Day' by Opshop. I am listening to it and I can't stop thinking about you. I know we're just people and we're spread apart over an ocean but it'll be okay. I've been thinking a hell of alot about it recently, and it scares the crap out of me. I don't want to come back and find that everything is different. I regret all the times I didn't talk to you or hang out with you. I don't want to tell you this all the time because I'm afraid you'd never feel the same. I know that all you can offer right now is you, but it's alot more than I ever though I'd get.

Absence makes her heart grow fonder.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm tired of missing you, but I know there's a good reason for it.

I miss you, I love you, 

-Anna

(Nov. 9, 12:51am)

(You never sign on past your 9pm [12 midnight] but I stay up just in case.)"

These midnight hours.

Tick. Tap. Chew. Rub. Drip. Step. Sneeze. Click. Chuckle. Scratch. 

I thought exams were supposed to be quiet. 

Okay, next problem. If x varies indirectly to y, and y equals... Oh god. I don't know this at all, and I haven't even finished reading the question. Shit, 26 more minutes. Make that 25. Okay, I'll just move on to the next problem. Jill left for school at 7:00am at the rate of 15mph. Joe left half an hour later than her moving at the rate of 20mph. How long will it take for Joe to reach Jill? Oh shit. Back to the last question. What did she say about direct and indirect variations? Is that even the name of the question? Hm, I'll just guess... (2, 3) sounds like a good enough answer. 

Ew, that kid on the end is standing up again. He really doesn't smell good. God, does the girl behind me know how annoying her foot tapping is? Ahck, and the chick next to me really could learn to chew with her mouth shut. Stupid gum chewers. I'll just circle a random answer for this problem... 3 more minutes. 

I stand up to turn in my test and I grab a cookie. 3 more minutes until freedom. 

"And... okay, those of you who are DONE with your tests, you may--" she began. And then everyone starts to rustle their stuff. 

"You may QUIETLY leave the room. Have a good summer," she adds. I can't help but agree and smile at her, because it's done.

I'm completed another year. I'm still alive, and I'm done. 3 whole months of freedom. 

So why do I feel so sad?

For you I will.

You know I'd swim an ocean for you, so please don't hurt yourself while I'm gone. I know it's rough, and I know people around you aren't being the greatest, but you will make it through. You just gotta have that extra bit of faith. If you lose that, then I'll lose you, and I can't handle that. Not again. 

We'll have such a great time when I get back there. Just wait for me, please. You'll be okay, because I know you're strong enough to handle this on your own. It doesn't matter what anyone else says about you.